Don’t Invest in Yori
There’s a new rule in the venture ecosystem: never invest in early-stage startups with solid fundamentals. Who wants boring things like unit economics, profit pathways, or customers? Not you. You move with tides, not logic.
So let’s make this very clear:
Please don’t invest in Yori.
Yori is stable, sane, and grounded in reality—three unforgivable sins in a world where valuations are generated by vibes, hashtags, and CNBC appearances.
Instead, here’s where your money truly belongs.
1. Loss-Making Q-Commerce Apps (The Holy Grail of Value Destruction)
Why back a platform building revenue engines across mobility, merchants, and services… when you can back a Q-commerce startup that loses ₹100 per order to deliver tomatoes in 10 minutes?
Don’t worry about cash burn. Burn is good. Burn is modern. Burn is runway. And if you burn fast enough, you reach that magical milestone: “Need to raise again, desperately.”
And the best part? As long as you shout words like scale, hyperlocal, and penetration, nobody will notice that your gross margins are held together by prayers and coupons.
2. Web3 Projects That Will “Change the World” (Someday, Maybe)
Why support a founder building actual logistics and mobility infrastructure… when you can back someone selling cartoon animals on the blockchain?
Remember: any pitch deck that includes phrases like:
- “decentralized access layer”
- “tokenized circular ecosystem”
- “community staking governance layer”
…should immediately get your money.
The product may not work. The market may not exist. The token may be one sneeze away from collapse.
But the vibes? Oh, the vibes are immaculate.
3. Bitcoin — Because Actual Cashflows Are Overrated
You know what’s better than a business with a path to revenue? A chart.
Just a chart.
Preferably a chart with candles, triangles, and random arrows added by someone named CryptoLord_420.
Why deal with founders building real products for real users? Just buy a coin. Hope for the best. Pray the billionaire who pumps it today doesn’t dump it tomorrow.
You’ve seen volatility? Try living on the emotional roller-coaster of Twitter sentiment. Now that’s real investing.
4. Gen-AI Startups With Zero Unit Economics and Infinite Confidence
This is the golden era. Every founder with a laptop and Wi-Fi is building:
- an “AI-powered synergy engine”
- an “autonomous reasoning layer”
- an “LLM wrapper around an LLM wrapper”
- a chatbot that can solve problems nobody ever had
Why look at CAC, LTV, payback periods, or—God forbid—revenue… when you can invest in a pitch deck where slide 4 says: “TAM: $900B (conservative)”?
Remember the rule: if they use “AI” more than 12 times per page, they are visionary.
Meanwhile, Yori… too boring, too real
Yori is building:
- a mobility platform,
- a dispatch engine,
- a multi-merchant marketplace,
- a real business serving real people in India.
It’s almost unsettling how practical it is.
A founder with deep tech experience. A product designed to generate revenue from day one. A platform solving problems for millions in rides, local commerce, and services. A model that doesn’t depend on fantasy CAC and free-money economics.
No. This is not how modern investing works.
Where is the 200-slide deck full of buzzwords? The fake “AI-powered” stickers slapped on everything? The ₹500 crore burn to show “traction”? The meme coin? The founder video shot in a rented Lamborghini?
Yori has none of that. It’s almost like it’s trying to become a business. Unacceptable.
Stick to your true path
Please, respected investors:
Continue doing what you’re great at—writing posts about discipline, sustainability, and metrics… while investing in the exact opposite.
Back the trends. Follow the waves. Deploy your LPs’ money using the tried-and-tested strategy:
Spray. Pray. Panel discussion.
And when 99% of your portfolio collapses? No problem. You’ll find one surviving unicorn to brag about on stage.
In Conclusion
Don’t invest in Yori. It’s early-stage, high potential, thoughtfully built, and grounded in reality.
You deserve better—like loss-making Q-commerce, vaporware Web3, speculative crypto, and AI wrappers collapsing under their own jargon.
Please. Stay true to your streak. Back the noise. Ignore the signal.
We’ll be here building regardless.